(which we all know could be tomorrow or years from now...).
I have been stuck for a very long time, life and different things have held me back, discouraged and broken me to the point where I have been living life unconsciously as a mom, a wife and writer.
I have so many stories, many half written, waiting to come out, yet I have lost all confidence in myself and my abilities. This is not from the Nay Sayers, or the discouraging field of professional rejections. This is me being the biggest deterrent in my own ability and stories.
To be honest, nothing has changed. There hasn't been any new jolts of energy, or inspired lines, or even new ideas on the horizon. I am still in the Struggle to get out of the water that I am drowning in at the moment; I am still unconscious on the ledge. (Don't know what I mean, watch the music video...)
But the stories, the magic; they are still here, a silver lining in the clouds; and, some day I will be able to rise up and touch them, feel them envelope around me until they have formed their unique and perfect form. And on that day we will all rejoice... But for now I struggle to survive, but the knowledge that they are waiting, keeps me in the fight. One I will never, can't ever give up on.
K. A. Petentler - still unconscious